Today, my therapist told me I was dysfunctional. Like I didn't already know that. (Physiotherapist, that is.)
While my limbs were being stretched and tenderized for the cannibalistic spawn my mother produced, I came to wonder what a frog would look like if it had a seizure.
Then of course my mind went else where I thought about what it would be like if frogs ruled the world, and made humans their slaves and forced us to do the macarena at awkward times.
Needless to say, my mom agrees with my therapist.
I've also come to a conclusion as to how my mother has gotten her hair to be so shiny. My conclusion is cat feces. I told her this today on my home from therapy and this is pretty much how the conversation went.
Me: Mom, I know how you get your hair so shiny.
Mom: Really. What do you think it is?
Me: Cat feces.
Mom: *gasp* How did you know!?
Me: Well, it took a while, but I finally figured it out. All those times you said you were going for a walk, you were lying! You actually went to some crazy cat lady farm, and collected all of the cat feces.
Mom: Well, the secrets out. Now you know that I'm a crazy cat lady who washes her hair with cat poop.
Me: It's okay mom, I still love you, no matter what you wash your hair with.
I'm glad I have a mother who goes along with my weird antics. If not, they would have left me in a dumpster with the promise of free candy inside.
~XCenedra (Su-Ned-Ra)
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