Stripping a Boy of His Manhood

At camp, as soon as we got back from our canoe trip, and we were waiting for the bus to arrive and pick us up and bring us back to camp, Ethan, a guy who was on the trip, was bragging about his one really long nipple/chest hair.

The two male camp counsellors, Galaxy and Bender (Camp names) over heard this, and then walked up to Ethan and said. "You shouldn't have said that."

And Ethan's friends held him down while Galaxy and Bender plucked his nipple/chest hair.

It was really funny, because it was just like one, lone, long chest hair right beside his nipple.

Ethan was screaming the whole time, and saying, "NO GUYS! COME ON! HE'S MY ONLY TRUE FRIEND! IT TOOK FOREVER TO GROW HIM!!!"

And then they finally plucked it, and then walked away.

Ethan was just laying there in shock for a few seconds and looking up at the sky. Then all of a sudden he was like, "AHH! *lifts up shirt and looks and takes a deep breath* AHH!!!" And it went like that for about 3 minutes.

~XCenedra (Su-Ned-Ra)

Severus Snake Vs. Neville Frogbottom

Hey guys! I'm finally back from camp, and I had a blast!
I met some really awesome new people, and I have some really fun experiences.

There was this one instance when my camp group was on our canoeing trip. We had had a storm earlier that morning, and the wind and a little bit of rain was all that was left behind.

We thought it was fog at first, and then we were like "HOLY CRAP! That's rain!" So we had to pack up everything as fast as we could.

Believe it or not, it got darker than this. And keep in mind that this was in the morning. It was like night all over again when it hit.

In case none of you know, I'm pretty much terrified of canoeing because of a very horrible first experience.

Anyway, we had to canoe against the wind that morning, and I had to steer, which I'm not very good at.

So, my partner, Nour, and I are trying to keep up with the group, while going against the wind. There were pretty large waves, and the wind was very rough.

We go to turn around a corner of a small island, when we get stuck on rocks. The canoe before us had the same problem, so we didn't really think it would be hard to get out, because they got out fairly quickly.

Nour gets out of the boat, and tries to pull us over these rocks, and every time he got us out of that little area, the wind and the waves would just put us back in. So after about 6-7 minutes of him trying to get us out, I thought I'd give it a go.

I tries for at least 8 minutes, and then gave up.

I started crying tears of frustration, exhaustion, and fear, because we could no longer see our group.

And let me tell you, it wasn't those cutesy little princess tears.

I was sobbing uncontrollably. I was wet, cold, and scared, and I couldn't really think of anything else to do besides cry.

So my partner, Nour, was all like "Don't cry, XCenedra! We can make it out of this! EVERY THING'S GOING TO BE OKAY! OKAY!?!?"

So we just sat there, with me crying until a canoe filled with our counsellors came back and helped us out.

Funny, and not so funny enough, the whole rest of the day went pretty much like that.

After that eventful canoe trip, we made it to our final camp site before we headed back to camp. When our vessel hit land, Nour and I were basically rolling on the ground with joy....And yet we were only in the canoe for about three hours.

 I knew I would never make it as a sailor..

Anyway, once we set up both of our camp sites, we were eating lunch, when all of a sudden my friend Naomi was all like, "GUYS! Look! There's a snake eating a frog!" So everyone ran over by our tent, and watched a snake eat a frog for almost 45 minutes.

The snake's name is Severus Snake, and the frog's name is Neville Frogbottom.

We discussed this whilst Neville was being eaten.

It was rather amusing, because pretty much all of the boys were amazed that all the girls were fascinated by a snake eating a frog.

But then again, it did take the boys at least 45 minutes to find fire wood, and yet only come back with four sticks. I think on this trip, the girls were better than the boys on performance, and all around activity.

Good fight, boys.

~XCenedra (Su-Ned-Ra)

Vacation!!

Hey guys, I probably won't be doing any blog posts for the next two weeks, because my friend Kary is coming down to where I live, and then we're going up to a camp that we go to every year together. So, I will try to write, but I will probably be way to excited about putting gummy bears in a bathtub of water (That's what we do in our spare time, people.)

So, to entertain you, watch this video (but not while you're eating) and be amazed by all that is Japan.

Still no cure for cancer, but as long as we can eat our own poop as a protein supplement, the world is progressing!

~XCenedra (Su-Ned-Ra)

Cannibalism, my friends, is barely tolerable.

If you're easily offended by the act of eating puerto rican children, or are from Children's Aid and could possibly sue me and/or send the mafia after me, skip this post. And if I don't offend you, please tell me, and I'll be sure to do it next time.

I was in the kitchen earlier and I was stirring a pot of curried chicken, when my dad yelled from the other room what smelled so good, when I apparently heard him wrong. Here's how it went.

Dad: What smells so good!?

Me: Little children in curry!

Dad: Do we have the Puerto Rican kind??

Me whispering to my mom: Did dad just ask us if we were cooking Puerto Rican children with curry?

My mom: Uhm...No. He asked if it was the spicy kind of curry.

I think she's just covering up his addiction to puerto rican children. He's probably been importing chunks of puerto rican orphan meat for years, and hasn't come out with it yet.

It's Okay, dad. I get it. I totally understand why you wouldn't be open about this. I know how cruel the mobsters can be about not paying them in time for their orphan meat.

(Obviously he's been buying it through the mafia all this time. Don't judge me)

By the way, I was totally joking (really.) about cooking children, it's actually chicken, but my dad totally jumped the gun on the whole "Let's-eat-Puerto Rican-children" deal.

~XCenedra (Su-Ned-Ra)

The art of pizza folding

A few minutes ago, I was really excited because we had leftover pizza from last night (Don't you judge me. You know you get excited over leftover pizza, too.) So I go into the fridge, and find a really small, rectangular container, which looked too small for pizza to be put into.

So, I take it out, and open it, and this is what I find.

Only my brother Rene could be able to do this...He folded the pizza, to make it fit in that container.

I'm completely baffled because we have at least fifty million containers (courtesy of my mom's storage habit..Or obsession. How ever you want to look at it is your choice.) that he can use to put pizza away!

HE FOLDED IT! It just makes me so mad, because the pizza is all crimpled!

I CAN'T EAT CRIMPLED PIZZA!! IT MUST BE PERFECT!

Stupid 9 year old..ruining my pizza...God has a sense of humour, because he made me related to Rene.

Sometimes, when I ask Rene to do something, like load the dishwasher, he'll be sitting on the couch going, "I...I JUST CAN'T! I'M TOO STRESSED!"

Then I'm like, "YOU WEREN'T STRESSED TWO SECONDS AGO WHEN I ASKED YOU TO DO THE DISHES! IT'S JUST iCARLY! You've seen all the reruns at least twice!"

And then of course I end up doing it dishes anyway.

~XCenedra (Su-Ned-Ra)

Birthday sex and unicorns

So, today's my birthday.
I think one of the most amusing birthday wall posts I've gotten today was "Happy day of expulsion from your mother's womb."

I am happy that I was expelled from her.

On the weekend I had a few friends over and we went to the beach..At that beach, I don't think you want to know what happened, but I'm going to tell you all anyway.

My friends Jessie and Jen were with me at the beach (Shout out to you two!) and on the way there, we were saying that we hope we don't see any old men in speedos...I think we jinxed the CRAP out of ourselves.

Meet the Duff Man. That's what Jen dubbed him as.

It kind of looks like he's going to dominate that child in front of him, and while he may not look that old on that picture, he definitely was.

There was one point during the day where we were climbing out of the water, and The Duff Man was splayed out on a beach towel...I think if we had kicked his butt, it would have jiggled like a giant bowl of jell-o.

At the end of the beach trip, we were all sitting on our towels When Jessie said "The only way this can get better if there was a midget massaging us." So we then decided that we wanted an albino midget masseuse named Wilfred.

Any albino midget masseuse readers, call me. I need your little midgets hands....

Any way, on a different note, I finished my unicorn for Cece,

I'm rather proud of it. I think I will name her Cupcake face. Every time I see it I just wanna eat something...I can hear my hips complaining about that now.

~XCenedra (Su-Ned-Ra)

Reply to the post below

Here is my duckie

His name is Dr.Quackers Vonhermie-shmerm. Duckie for short. The JE in the top let corner stands for "Just Eaten" ..I've always wanted to eat a duck...

And also,

The chickens have multiplied!! PREPARE FOR THE CHICKOCOPOLYPSE!!!!

 

~XCenedra (Su-Ned-Ra)