Oh Drama Class..

Today in drama class we were put into groups of twos and threes, and we had to improvise a scene.
My groups' situation was that we were three boys who were going skiing and we were fighting over how we should load out truck.
The catch was, we were two European men, and one Canadian man, who were very homosexual.

It was doubly awesome because we had amazing accents, and many gay innuendos were made.
The teacher didn't really understand them, which made them even funnier.

The on-going argument of the improv was that we were fighting over where the skis should be loaded.
One of the most repeated lines being, "No, Jukka, I want it loaded in the back."
The skit ended with our Canadian partner, Doug,  saying, "Jukka, Hanse, just put one ski on the top, and one at the back."
It was one of the best skits ever. I'm going to be using my hanse persona off and on for the rest of the improvisation unit.

~XCenedra (Su-Ned-Ra)

Long time no see, and skinny jean dilemma.

A few weeks ago I was sitting in my early morning vocal class with my friend Dani, and I was telling her about the night before, when I was trying to pick my outfit for the day.
I had tried on basically every pair of jeans I owned, and there was this one specific pair of jeans that one I put them on, my tummy basically rolled over the top.
I looked like a muffin.
It was about 11 at night when this happened, and I was really emotional because it happened to be one of my best pair of jeans.
So I texted my mom from upstairs, because I didn't want to scream down the stairs and wake my brothers up.
The text message read, "Mommy help me, I'm fat :(:(:(."(notice the sad faces)
So she comes walking up the stairs, and I can hear her chuckling, an she gets into my room and I start crying.
She tells me, "XCenedra, you're not fat. It's the pants. Not you."
And I'm like," BUT THE PANTS FIT ME OVER THE SUMMER!!" And she was like "Well, looks like they shrunk."
She was just so nonchalant about it. I could tell she was trying to fool me into not being sad...And it worked.

So upon telling this to Dani in vocal class, this boy Jeremy was sitting beside us and started laughing. And I was all like, "Don't you DARE laugh at my pants issue, sir!"
Boys...They don't understand the issue of pants..They can wear boxers and it's "Basically" socially acceptable.

By the way, check out my friend Dani's blog. She's totally awesome, and supermegafoxyawesomehot. Not to mention funny, and attracted to old people.

~XCenedra (Su-Ned-Ra)

I Hate My Misfortune...

So today I got thrown up on by an old man who didn't speak English.
Yes, you heard me right.
Even now, since it's been at least 6 and a half hours since it's happened, I feel like I could cry about it.
It may have been the second nastiest thing I've experienced in my life. The first being accidentally eating hand lotion...I don't recommend eating hand lotion that's cinnamon flavored, if any of you were ever to eat hand lotion.

Anyway, the story goes, I was walking back home from school,  and I was just mindin' my own business, walking down the street like a boss, and a bus comes up beside me, and pulls into the bus stop that's in front of me. Just as I'm walking passed the bus stop, an old man stumbles out, and projectile vomits on my shirt, (thankfully, and mysteriously missing my favorite light blue skirt I was wearing earlier) and the pavement area around me.
And now I know I'm making this whole situation all like and airy, but let me make myself clear. HE THREW UP. ON ME. ME!
Do you have any idea how utterly disgusting that is?!
Some man, who I didn't even know, emptied his stomach content on my person!


As soon as it happened, I had one of those moments that never leaves you no matter how much you want to forget it.
 It was the kind of moment when you're standing there in shock, and you don't know what to do, and you're body is all tense, and then once you snap out of it you think, "What the HELL just happened!? Oh dear God."

So there I am, soiled with a mans vomit...just standing there in shock. If I wouldn't have been around other people, I would have sat down, and started crying. I'm not talking about the girly "pretty" crying you see in movies. I would have man cried. You'll understand that term if you've ever seen a man cry hysterically.

I had to fight with myself with everything I had, to stop myself from throwing up as well.

So, I looked at the man, then turned around an walked away, and started going back home again. The man didn't apologize. Didn't say anything. I don't believe he even spoke English.

So I got home, ripped off my clothes as soon as I dropped my bag off in my room, and ran into the bathroom, put my clothes in the tub, and took the hottest shower I've ever had in my life.

The physical evidence of the event may not be there anymore...But the emotional scars will never go away...

~XCenedra (Su-Ned-Ra)

Boys and Their Genetalia

Moments ago, my brothers were talking about how many things they've gotten their penises stuck in.
I find it kind of odd that I'm cringing at the though, because I don't by any means, have a penis, or anything like a penis.

Anyway, Rene, the 9 year old, when he was about 1 or 2 years old, we had this miniature fan, and Rene would always run around the house naked, so one day he was sitting down playing with the fan. and all of a sudden he starts screaming. When we all rush into the room, we found that his penis was stuck in the fan...We still don't know what exactly happened, and I don't think I really want to know how he managed that.

And as for Jean-Paul, the 6 year old, when he was 3 or 4 years old, he was playing with a light saber naked. So, he was sitting down, and playing with it, and all of a sudden he closed the light saber, and got his foreskin stuck in one of the cracks. You know, like, the folds in the light saber that makes it close?

Yeah...I think if I had a penis, I would definitely want it to get stuck in a light saber if it had to get stuck at all. Because that's just a badass way of hurting yourself.

Jean-Paul thinks it's so awesome that his junk got caught in a light saber. In fact, he still has that light saber. And he'll show it and tell the story to anyone who will listen.
Rene doesn't have as much humor for that. I think we threw that fan out....Shame, I'd have shown it at his wedding.

~XCenedra (Su-Ned-Ra)